Home > Ethics, Feminism, Life, etcetera > living life; limping through relationships and finding balance

living life; limping through relationships and finding balance

Wednesday, 6 June 2007 Leave a comment Go to comments

It is hard sometimes to find one’s place–to find stable ground. Life seems to present a variety of challenges–from the teenage angst that each of us encountered [whether we were aware of it or not], to what do I do with my life and to how to I create a family [whether that is a family of one or with another]. The disruptions of life are just that: disruptions.

I had a recent encounter where a loved one began to ask questions about relationships and finding balance in relationships. This is a difficult one largely because the relationships about which this person was mentioning is a formative and integral relationship. But, just how formative and integral are relationships when one feels abused, neglected, put-down, shut-out, etc.? They may become toxic over time and this toxicity mayvery well just creep up on us. This is a sad reality, but reality nonetheless that presents itself to each of us. So, how do we live life and in relationships where we encounter such difficulties? We must discern–using both internal and external resources–we must find the balance that preserves us.

Perhaps that is what Jacob was doing when he was asking for a blessing from the Angel of the Lord? Caught in a “wrestling” match, he found himself wanting that fierce person to be present. The Angel was indeed present, but soon the angel would be leaving–but before so, Jacob was left with a limp and his name was changed. Wow! What a disruption in this could-be “spiritual”/”heavenly” relationship. I wonder if it felt more like a dungeon or being a prisoner of war during the time when they were wrestling?

Perhaps that is how we feel when we enter into times of darkness in relationships? We become prisoners of this war of challenges and finding power in relationships. We walk with a limp. And, sometimes we stumble. We try and reach out, but our faint voice cannot be heard over the clutter that we hear inside of us. We are certainly off balance. We are far from the reality of life and balance, yet we are living, still.

And so, Jacob’s name is changed to Israel and he departs back to his family–a changed person.

That’s a great story for Jacob, but what about that person who doesn’t know really why they have a limp? What has tormented them in silence [or perhaps blatantly] that has now produced the limp? Where is their prison? Furthermore, where is their freedom? How does one find balance from the perspective that the limp presents a pretty definite disadvantage and/or disability? That is where I get stumped. I don’t know where to find the balance? I don’t know how to be healed of the limp?

What if the limp is permanent? What is the balance can never be restored like you thought? Are there ways that we can live, be in relationships, and find balance that look radically different than what our minds and history and traditions tell us?

I sure hope so! Peace to YOU who is currently struggling with the limp.

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